Conspiracy Theory: The Rats that Chased Buhari out of Office

Wike exchanging pleasantries with President Buhari

Amidst all the drama surrounding Nigeria’s politics, one thing I find very intriguing is the report that the president, Mohammadu Buhari will not be able to work from his office, but from home, because his office has been infected by rats and needs renovation after spending 102 days away from his people and country, treating an undisclosed illness. BBC network somehow “embarrassed” the country, in a news article that suggests that our President is being chased away from office by rats – a tiny little rodent that should have been dealt with those ‘centuries’ he was away.

I have taken a seat at the right back of this arena, I will not be complaining, hailing or wailing, I will try as much as possible to do the best I can do change my situation and that of my community, because it is obvious the government of Nigeria does not give a hoot about us – in Michael Jackson’s voice.

In what we might call a conspiracy theory, Oladapo Michael Ilori, popularly referred to as ‘OmòBùHáRí’ came up with a ‘justification’ on why he thinks the president should work from home and the alleged poising of the president.

Find the excerpt of his thoughts below;

“Was president Buhari poisoned?

Are some people trying to kill Mr President?

Please note that based on logistics I am trying to add 2 + 2 to get 22 premising my assumptions on so many variables of the recent past. I told my boss that three things would further make my answer of 22 very plausible mathematically. Those three things are:

  • If Mr President returns and he grants a speech without mentioning the cause of his illness.
  • If any form of renovation is done to the office of Mr President, and which would include replacing the air conditioning unit system.
  • If a part or all of the immediate security details attached to Mr President is sacked or replaced.

Now guess what, number (1) happened, number (2) just happened and number (3) I am reliably informed a request for that is underway. Remember that this is my theory of conspiracy, a theory I derive from enhanced silence and manipulations of those in power (a manipulation which in this case might be for good intentions).

Many of us have tried to find out what Mr President was receiving treatment for while he was in the UK. Tried as we could (including powerful media giants), nothing about why he was admitted or what he was being treated for sneaked out. This in itself gave room to a hypothesis that the presidency was trying to contain and hide that fact, for the knowledge of that is capable of causing a war in the nation.

Make no mistake, if this theory of mine is right, and if the president had stated that he was poisoned, a war across all states would break out. It would begin as a war of the poor against the rich, the initial targets would be the political rich class(especially if you were of the PDP). Then it might snowball into an ethnic and religious war which at that point the consequences are only better imagined. Was the president trying to save us all by staying silent on what ails him?

Now talking about the PDP, I would single out two riff raff with my focus on a mistake of a governor who God forbids him becoming president of my dear nation. Many would recall vividly that Fani-Kayode (or whatever he calls himself) and Fayose were so sure that Mr President CAN’T come back alive. Note my emphasis on the word ‘can’t’ because it is important. For my singular question would be ‘what do they know?’

So certain was Fayose that Mr president cannot be alive that he demanded to go see him in the UK before he would believe, he told the entire world he had 11 pictures of the president in a vegetative state and on life support. FFK said Mr President had dementia, an early stage symptom of a particular class of poison that when inhaled affects the brain (and the easiest modern way to spread this class of poison is through the AC unit of an enclosed environment). One also need to understand that it was this period Obasanjo told us how efforts were made to poison and kill him, stories of poisoning many of us haven’t heard before. Obj further gave a list of other leaders who had been poisoned but unlike him didn’t survive it. I ask again, what do they know?

A particular prophet who calls himself Chukwudi told the entire world that if Buhari comes back alive, then he is not called by God. Now while I would disregard the fake wanna be god of man with his prophecy that God Himself have put he and his pay masters to shame, I would implore the DSS to look into a very critical angle. That angle is if any form of relationship exists between the pastor and the group Fayose/FFK. Was it possible they told him something that made him boldly give such a prophecy?

While a few would blame Garba Shehu for coming out to say the office of Mr President needs renovations, I won’t join that band-wagon (despite my obvious reservations for Mr Shehu). For if my 2 + 2 to make 22 is right, then one can only continue to imagine that Mr president instructed him to tell what is called a ‘good lie’ for the interest of the nation. For the truth is before resumption of office in 2015, it is believed that PMB worked from home for nearly 3 months to have the demons of Aso Rock casted away and to renovate the place. Would you renovate again because of two cockroaches and a rat? Or is Mr president saving us ALL from anything that is capable of tearing a nation he swore an oath to keep united and protect even at a risk to his life?

You be the judge and tell me if 2 + 2 doesn’t make sense as 22.” – Written by  Oladapo Ilori on his Facebook wall


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