We all had a crush at some point in our lives; might be our neighbour or from celebrities. It can be argued however that ladies have male crushes than do men have female crush; perhaps because women expect a man to ask them out as against a lady wooing a man. Top of Form
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Getting over a crush isn’t always as easy as it seems. If you have trouble getting over your crush, don’t worry because there are other people who are in the same situation. Just because your crush doesn’t see you as girlfriend material doesn’t mean that he doesn’t see you as a friend. Often time, having a crush can either lead to crash in your relationship or hinder you from being in one.
Heather Jensen of Binoni lists some steps to getting over your crush:
- Realization: The hardest part about getting over your crush is realizing that he doesn’t like you the same way that you like him. The realization might be the first step, but it’s the hardest step to take. While you may like the guy, while you may even love him, if he doesn’t feel the same, you can’t force it – no matter how much you try to.
- Admit that you have a crush: Once you’ve come to the realization that he might not have the same feelings you have for him, you’ve got to admit that you have a crush. I know it can be hard girls, but even if you just stand in front of your mirror and admit to yourself that you have a crush, you’d be amazed how much that makes a difference and how it is almost like extracting the poison. Give it a try.
- Accept the situation: You’ve admitted that you have a crush and even though it’s far from the ideal situation, try to make steps towards accepting the situation. Try not to be stubborn about it or be in denial of what’s really going on. Perhaps the two of you aren’t as compatible as you first thought. You might even find later on that it was a good thing that your crush never turned into more.
- Don’t take it personal: Just because he doesn’t have feelings for you, it is not something that you can take personal. Learning to get over your crush might not be easy, but it isn’t a personal indictment. A guy can’t control his feelings just like you can’t control your feelings. Imagine if a guy likes you, but you have absolutely no feelings for him – don’t take it personally.
- Be honest with yourself: Getting over your crush is never easy, but you have to be honest with yourself. You’ve got to be upfront with yourself about your feelings and how you are affected by your crush not returning your them. Once you are honest with yourself about how hurt you are, it’s easier to process and easier to heal.
- Don’t dwell on it: Do you have a support group that you can go to? Do you have a best friend that you can talk to? Do you have someone that you can turn to that will keep you from dwelling on the fact that you’ll never ‘get’ your crush? That needs to be a focus, girls; you don’t want to dwell on something that will never happen and this is a necessary tip on getting over your crush.
- Don’t be angry: Why are you angry? Because he doesn’t think of you the same way? That isn’t a reason, girls, while it might be hard to admit that, you’ve got to make sure that your emotions stay stable and calm. You don’t want to be angry or mad at your crush just because he doesn’t return the feelings that you have. After all, you can’t control who you like!
- Keep your distance: It’s also a good idea to keep your distance and avoid contact while you’re trying to get over your crush. You might not be able to completely avoid seeing or running into your crush if you’re friends, work at the same place or go to the same school. But, you can try to make yourself less available and focus on yourself. If he/she doesn’t understand, explain that you need some time on your own right now.
- Seek support: One of the best ways to try and get over any difficult situation is to seek support. Do you have a friend who has gone through a similar situation and you want her advice? Or maybe you just need someone to listen. Either way, talk to your friends and family members. They can help you sort through your feelings and even offer some sound advice.
- Give yourself time: Getting over a crush isn’t easy and no one, including yourself, shouldn’t expect you to get over it quickly. Give yourself time to be sad. Everyone deals with difficult situations differently and it might take you more time than your friends to get over it. While you don’t want to dwell on the situation for a prolonged period of time, don’t expect yourself to be “back to normal” too quickly.